Saturday, June 04, 2011

Angels Brought Me Pens


Day 155

Today I did almost as much nothing as possible. I did how ever draw you a picture of a kitty. Isn't it cute! This picture would be ten times more fantastic but I'm waiting for a pen. A magical pen. To be delivered by an angel with blue hair, wearing golden pants and shrouded in petunias. Or delivered by Becky.

Becky to me "You should draw in pen"
Me to Becky "Get me a pen" at the same time Becky to me "I'll get you a pen"
I'm waiting angel shrouded in petunias.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Ghost Phone


Day 154

Today I won the smart dance and lost my phone in town. Now it's haunting me. I keep hearing my text tone and being like "Hmmm was that a text? I'll just check my WAIT A MINUTE!"

Bad news aside today I earned the achievement in the game of life that is "The Fixer" I feel proud. It wasn't too hard. You just have to rely on peoples desire to keep friends. If the people you're fixing lack this then you're screwed.

Thursday, June 02, 2011

Marilyn Mantis


Day 153

Today I had a staff meeting. Apparently a new brand is coming out with in our company. The shirts will be magenta. This caused many lols. After the meeting i went to Grace's with the intention of helping her pack but there wasn't really anything to do and we ended up finishing the bottle of coconut rum and laughing at business cat. Then whilst trekking half way across town to Neshas I gave a homeless man a show when the wind decided I needed to do a bad impression of Marilyn Monroe. I was going to draw this but I decided this picture of a praying mantis doing a Monroe impression was much better.

Also oops forgot it was request Thursday... my bad. It will be back next Thursday. Promise!

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

We Used To Be Friends


Day 152

Today I was sitting at my doodle desk pondering what to doodle. So far today I had taken Matt shopping quite successfully but nothing really doodle worthy had happened. Though in saying that half of the things I doodle are not worthy. I had no idea what to doodle and Matt suggested I wait to see what happens. Approximately 5 hours later I was in McDonald's watching Becky do an impersonation of Lissy singing the theme song to Veronica Mars. Admittedly half an hour before that when Becky exclaimed that Jordan had beautiful eyes was probably funnier but that's a different story..

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Eye See What You Did There


Day 151

Ambre spots Keir in mirror. Runs towards Keir. Looks behind mirror. Is confused. I think she might still be drunk from Saturday =D

Picture is unrelated.

Monday, May 30, 2011

I SsssssSSsssee You!


Day 150

Today was my day off. I had many things I needed to do. Buy party supplies. Check. Do some washing. Errr.. Watch TV to clear backlog. Ahhh.. Minecraft in Jammies. Check =D

For close to five hours I played minecraft in that time I had the crap scared out of me about 4 times. Once was the phone ringing extremely loudly. Apparently Izak and Matt don't appreciate their movie watching being punctuated by my exclamations of "Spiders in the trees!" or "Piss off creepers!" or "What the hell is with the grass" and about 20 cries of "CRAP!" Izak calls it talking to myself where as I call it yelling at the game.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

BLATBOB


Day 149

Today I was defeated by a sandwich. Three quarters of the way in I couldn't keep going. The sandwich had won. BUT I took the bacon from the last quarter and thus won a battle but not the war. Sweet bacony battle.

Sometimes it physically hurts how stupid people are. Today I was asked if Malaysia was part of Australia... What do you say to that. Well I said no. But still whaaaaaaaaa?

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Mmm Smells Like Green


Day 148

Today the lady at the salad place tried to convince me that they hadn't changed the salad I like they had just put the fact that there was anchovies in the dressing on the sign. LIES I tell you. It was disgusting fish paste with some lettuce in it. BUT she was really nice and gave a refund straight away.

On another note I need some way of remembering things cause my memory files appear to be full. I keep double booking myself and Grace always seems to come out worse off. But hey she got to watch me drink crazyness out of a bowl, in her kitchen whilst sporting a green Hitler mustache. I think I should be forgiven.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Panda-monium


Day 147

Poor Geese. He will find a lady eventually. In the meantime he has to put up with being overshadowed by the cuddliest panda ever. Who is also a doctor. How could he ever compete?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Paging Dr Panda


Day 146

Today is le request day!

Todays request comes from Carole who asked for something specific. TA DA. She said that she didn't mind if it was stick figures or anything so I decided to make it Goose going to see Dr Panda.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Truly Special


Day 145

Today I am yet again a champion. This time I am the champion of Gin. I was told that if one drink Gin and only Gin (instead of the rainbow flurry of drinks I usually do) then I would with out a doubt cry. 'Challenge accepted' I cried!(pun intended) And last night I got a rather spinning buzz off some Gin. Not a single tear. Not even the beginnings of any. I was more upset earlier that day when six people were talking at once. BUT that is only half of the victory. Two people drank as much as I did (if not a little more than me) and both of those people ended up throwing up. Stellar sound effects all night let me tell you. There is nothing quite like cleaning up some one else's puke at 5am to make you really appreciate how awesome not puking or feeling sick really is. So at 8am when my alarm went off for me to get up go to work I felt fantastic. I am actually not exaggerating. I felt better in that moment than after a nice 10 hours of sleep. Champion of Gin title or no I do not want Gin again very soon as it's not very nice... Maybe now I can conquer Vodka in a new way.

just in a post script kind of way OMFG WHY YOU BASTARD EYELIDS STOP ITCHING!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Now is not the Time for Chats


Day 144

At one point yesterday I had six people on face book chat all trying to have varying degrees of serious conversation with me. It was over whelming to say the least.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Panda!



Day 143

Today is the day that I randomly projected that I would make a panda out of clay for. Izak how ever doubted I would still be doing doodles. Well here I am. Where is my prize?

(The link for Izak is a doodle he did that was inspired by me cause I'm awesome)

I convinced Izak into having his picture taken with the panda because I am a master of mind control!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Always the Champion


Day 142

Today I fit into shorts that I haven't been able to for some while. This makes me happy and a champion. Tomorrows doodle will be a little bit different so wait in anticipation mmmmk?

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Tiny Humans


Day 141

Today I had an interesting conversation with a customer and her child.

I'm talking through the speaker.
Kid: How come I can hear you?
Me: The speaker
(at the same time as me) Mum: Magic
Me: .. or magic =/
Kid: Can you say money?
Me: Magic.
Kid: Noooo. Can you say slion.
Me: What is a slion?
Kid: Its a type of lion.


The tiny humans.. They confuse me =S


The Bi-corn is a mythical creature. Not to be confused with a goat. Its a member of the unicorn family. Not much is known at this point. But it walks on to feet so it must be awesome.

Friday, May 20, 2011

I Know a Guy With a Goat


Day 140

The new Pirates of the Caribbean was much better than I anticipated. I failed to remember how if Johnny Depp is in the movie then I'm going to like it.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Cows are Gossips and Gossips are Cows


Day 139

Request Thursday! This weeks request comes from Abbey! She simply asked for Cow. I pondered the possibility of drawing someone I know thats a bit of a cow but I decided better of it.

If you have a request just comment on any request Thursday blog or if you're a friend message me on Face Book. I select one randomly every Thursday.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"Vodka"


Day 138

Today is when the lack of drinking was stopped. I bought the worst vodka in the world. It smelt like yeast =S and is made in Helensville by Russians. It tasted more like bourbon than anything else so of course it is now Grace's.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Thats How You Pat a Cheetah


Day 137

Today was awesome. I got to pat a cheetah. They're so pretty ♥.♥ *squeeee* but girly squees asides, they're the biggest fraidy cats. We got to follow them around the zoo for their morning walk. They were afraid of the lions. One of them was afraid of/threatened by a pig which was hilarious. And they both enjoyed having a staring contest with the nervous zebras.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Twenty One Times


Day 136

Today is Bex's birthday. Her actual birthday. It was decided many moons ago that for Bex's Bday we would ride NZs only roller coaster 21 times. Word of advice. Don't. Especially when you're still semi hung over. I would how ever like to applaud myself on my stellar ability to not puke. Truly a talent I'm grateful for.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Figure Of Speech


Day 135

You know when I say I'm going to go die in a hole now. That doesn't mean I actually want to. After last night I am seriously considering not drinking again.. for a while.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Every Day I'm Shuffling


Day 134

Today I started work at 7.45am. With town on the horizon and a nice dinner for Bexs birthday you can imagine how slow time is going for me. Its 2.23pm and it feels like I've been at work for days. All I want is it to be 4.15pm so I can finish work and go home to where all my booze is. Yes I need booze. I run on booze and am running low therefore time is slowing down.

Aaaaaaaaaanyway! It has gotten to the point where I start to struggle half way through a 6" sub from subway. Consequently I have a quarter of 6" ham sub in my bag. My stomach is currently screaming "OMG I am so full! I hate you!" But don't worry my stomach always hates me. If its not "I'm full" its "I'm empty" or "Why are you feeding me?!" and sometimes "I'm vindictive and spiteful" *STAB STAB STAB* You don't even want to know what it screams when it teams up with my uterus *gives reader knowing look*

Friday, May 13, 2011

Oi! Stop It!


Day 133

Rude! You there customer face. I do not care if your thinking face requires noms that doesn't mean you can noms the pen I have to use for the rest of the day.

Aaaaaanyway! My eyelids have been itchy for the past 5-7 days. I have no idea why. The internet says that it goes hand in hand with puffy or swollen eyes but my eyes aren't puffy or swollen. They're still tired looking though apparently. THIS IS JUST MY FACE. The problem with itchy eyelids is when I scratch them I get tiny scratches on them. Then the scratches become itchier. Its a vicious cycle I tell you. The scratches are almost gone but they're still soooooo itchy!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Poor Tank


Day 132

Tank the skunk wishes she had spots. Stripes just aren't in this season. Good old requests. This one is for Nessa again. She just said skunk. Maybe I'll start doing request Thursdays.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Lols Optional


Day 131

Many hilarious hi-jinx were to be had today. But all I'm telling you is that the bruise on my arm is looking more and more yellow and painful.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hooligans!


Day 130

Today I was told to stop loitering by older than me people. I feel awesome..

I also saw Thor.. It lacked many things. Continuity. A good plot. New Ideas. The actors were alright. Asides from when they had to kiss... *Mashes face against face*

Monday, May 09, 2011

Lets Get Crunk


Day 129

New doodle book... Again.

I suggested that Matt and I have a drink or two. Matt took it to be a race and won with flying colors as he proceeded to prance around, bang into door knobs and mumble gibberish to me.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Gnomey


Day 128

I sat here for over 3 hours staring at a blank page. Either today was just that boring or a tiny thought stealing gnome has been sitting on my shoulder stealing my ideas all day. That would explain why I'm unbalanced..

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Swirling Through Life


Day 127

"Are we walking to your car?"
"Yes"
"Do you realize how far that is?
"Five minute walk max"
*Raises Eyebrow*
Twenty Five minutes later....

Friday, May 06, 2011

Alas


Day 126

Lately a lot of people have commented on how tired I look. This is just my face. I look like this all the time. Granted I haven't been sleeping what one would say well but that is of little importance. What am I meant to say "Thank you"? No. "Yes"? I've decided to go with:
"Alas you've uncovered my terrible secret..."
"What secret?"
"I'm tired of people"
"Oh"

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Am Sexy!


Day 125

Sitting in BK today with grace. She's eating her burger and I'm eating sushi. Right when I have the biggest mouthful of rice she does this (pictured above). I think I'll have rice coming out of my nose for the next week.


Yesterdays doodle was the last Dirty Search I'll let you know the results in a month or so.

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

You Make Me Sad


Day 124

Last week we had had a praying mantis wondering around our ceilings. Then all of sudden there was something on my foot. A long dead, squished praying mantis was stuck between my toes. I was horrified by this. After I had ripped him off my toes I scooped him up on a receipt. He lay there with his bottom half squished and wings mutilated but his top half looked like it was dancing. So sad...

Todays picture is named "racy camouflage necktie"

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

What do You Know?


Day 123

Why do you lie?
It would break my heart
If it weren't stolen.

What do you hide?
It would hurt me
If I weren't frozen.

Broken down.
Held together.
With the pain.
From forever.


Sometimes its not a bad idea to get in touch with your past.

Todays picture is named "frozen nads"

Monday, May 02, 2011

I Have a Point?


Day 122

I think my LOL Reactor might be broken. A guy slipped outside the store I was at today, he flailed his arms around and stopped himself from falling over. The girl in the store was giggling silently behind her hand but I was unmoved. Perhaps I have grown up. All I was thinking was about the danger of the slippery front ramp and how they should put down some cardboard like they usually do. Though now that I think about it maybe I just have a more sophisticated comedy palate than that of the giggling store girl. I'm not sure about that. I laugh at the most mundane things and at the lamest jokes.. Some times just a word can set me off. And not even a very funny word. Like stethoscope or mundane. I will admit though it's usually words like duty, come or poke.

There was a building inspector guy who had a very murdery look about him checking the building today. I find it interesting that some people have a murdery look when I know that I only judge them as so because of stereotypes portrayed on TV. Now I'm sure they're stereotypes for a reason but still... this bothers me.

Todays picture is called 'mundane orgasm'

Sunday, May 01, 2011

This is Just Not On


Day 121

American Idol. Y u no keep most talented person!

Todays picture is called 'cheese tate'

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Time


Day 120

Have a random picture for your face hole.

Todays picture is named 'uncomfortable tights'

Friday, April 29, 2011

Poker All Night


Day 119

Today we had poker. An abundance of hilarious things happened. Not that I remember any of them. I do remember how ever that I won the first ever cash game. There will be people who tell you lies about how my chances of getting the money were higher than every one elses but these people are just sore losers.

Todays picture is named 'itchy nipples'

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Not So Smug Now


Day 118

Now you're in garfeild.

A fully grown man had semi tantrum at me when I told him that the name on his western union was wrong. I had my serious face on when I said no. But inside I was laughing at his ridiculous whining.

I found out that if I name the pictures I upload in my blogs something other than the day then they will show up in searches. So for the next week including this post I'm going to name all my pictures "sweaty balls" and other undesirable names (which I will tell you) and see how many searches I get.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

All Tuckered Out


Day 117

This morning when I finally got myself out of bed this is what was lying in wait for me on the other side of the bedroom door. Waiting impatiently for her breakfast, Sparta was employing a common technique amongst children known as goose guarding. The only problem with her plan being I'm bigger than her and needed to pee.

So today for the first time in my life (that I can remember) some one referred to me as "tall". It was amazing. The situation not so much. Although the reason being she was comparing me to prepubescent teens and tiny Indian woman. I'm still going to take it.

Today a customer I had had a name that made want to make lame jokes. I tried very hard to stop my self. I succeeded. I feel proud. Manish. Heh. Your name is LOL. Yes I am immature..

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

BUGGY NOOOO!


Day 116

We all remember buggy from the fancy new doodle book entry.

I've been waiting for a while to do this to buggy. A whole month exactly. Poor buggy. You're actually kinda gross. But you make for an easy doodle so I forgives you.


Many things have come to my attention.

1] People have noticed how my stomach hates me. I am going to the doctors tomorrow so you can look forward to Doctor Hilarity.

2] My one post from way back in the day about Those people that mentions Christa Miller is getting quite a bit of views lately. Ethier Cougar Town is becoming more popular [which is awesome] or some random had found it and is showing their friends and pointing and laughing at my blogging skills. You there! I see you! Stop that! I have good doodles. Look at this one or this one. Now shoosh your boosh.

3] No one from Canada has ever looked at my blog.. Damn you Canadians! Appreciate my genius! I appreciate your... your... BASKETBALL! From a distance.. A very far distance but it still counts.

Monday, April 25, 2011

actual CHAMPION.


Day 115

Today I was declared a champion by some one other than me. Best day ever.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Keyhole


Day 114

At around 3am Tish decided to tell me a scary story. I did not appreciate his efforts.

A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.

The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to.

He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the keyhole. This time, all he saw was red. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.

At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, “Did you look through the keyhole?” The man told her that he had and she said, “Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red.”

Tish told it differently but it still gave me a chill down my spine. Silly Tish shouldn't tell stories.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Super Raccoon is Super Cute


Day 113

A proper doodle montage.

Today I saw:

*A well dressed "homeless" man with a sign that said "Please help. Need money for weed and beer"

* Harry Potter 7a and it was much better than expected and I'm looking forward to the next one.

* Bexibubblicous

*A man almost get hit by a car and then act super casual about it. Like it happens all the time. Though his road crossing skills would imply that it does in fact happen all the time.

*Many kinds of funny face book updates.

*And this picture of a super raccoon biting a man ear

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sushi?


Day 112

Today I finally got to play D n D again. This is my character Sushi.. She's oddly proportioned and has short white hair. She's very quiet but a kick ass fighter elf. She's nothing like any elf you've seen before. Mu wah ha ha. Don't ask her any questions so you don't have to deal with the awkward silence to follow.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

What Do You Think I Chose


Day 111

Today was not the best. My bladder was leading the assault today and decided it had forgotten it is actually bigger than a peanut. Asides from my bodies obvious loathing for itself. When I got home I was meant to upload all the doodles I was behind on.. But I played mine craft instead. Valid choice I think.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Rat Blob


Day 110

Today I went to Grace's again. I also saw Manny and Bernard again. Her rats. They're so cute. But they're also stinky boys. For some reason though they smelt like hokey pokey to me. I went looking for cute rat pics and found a whole bunch of rats with instruments pics. You should check em out for your daily squee!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Am I Invisible?


Day 109

Even though my everything aches like I was hit by a truck since GC I still went to Lou's apartment building and made good use of her pool and gym. She was there too. I'm not that awesome.

Also the scene in the pic didn't happen. It could have. But it didn't mainly because I told Grace what I'd drawn and her response was "Oh gawd go home now"

Monday, April 18, 2011

Izaku Wins Gold


Day 108

Izak is the man at compliments.