There was something odd about the neighbors...

Day 6

I've actually been thinking about this doodle for a while but I couldn't figure out how to make it work and then *ding* Invisible light bulb.

Sometimes when I think something is hilarious other people won't get it but Matt laughed at this one so you better have laughed too... or else I'll hop through the internet and punch you in the mouth

Today I was back in the cockroach branch but all was quiet on the frontier. And I wasn't stuck there all day so KEIR. DAY. WIN!!

Nessa you asked for frogs so...

Day 5

Bu wah ha ha I give you a hottt frog! You know you want her!

I'm really liking doing this doodle a day thing. Makes me feel creative =) I'll be taking requests some times so look out for it on my fb page around 7ish. As you can see Nessa got the first request...

Does anyone know where to buy cherries like the ones at wendys?

I'm having what you call a bad day

Day 4!

So yes I am and this made me happier thinking about it all day.

Sigh I just wish I'd written "My whipped dairy ice treat brings all the males to my place of residence" but it's just a doodle.

Also as I may not have mentioned (I haven't) this is my blog and for the year of 2011 it will be devoted to a doodle a day and no not a blog about penises.

But yes I have had/ am having a bad day. I slept funny and my rib hurts which is weird and painful. I had a shortage in my till. A cockroach crawled up my leg and I then had to squish a different one (the first one got away). I bashed my head particularly badly on the corner of a door frame (yes I'm skilled). Inhaled way too much (not that any is good) bug spray stuff which smells disgusting and I think I'll never get the smell out of my lungs.

So milkshake boy made me feel a little better and now hopefully so do you =)

Today I was ripped off by a...

Day 3

Weeeeeee only a million (362) to go.

Also on an unrelated note how about you make that metaphor a reality and catch that grenade cause I'm about ready to throw it at you, Bruno. By golly I'll do it.

Don't ask me

Day 2

I have no idea what this is. Maybe it's Austin Powers with boobs. Maybe it's cute or maybe don't ask me...

Plenty Of Stuuf In the Sea

Day 1 oi!

I've jumped on this wagon and you're now along for the ride

Excuses Excuses!

There is only one reason to let your child out of the house during school holidays. And I'll tell you it's not so they can take a merry, screaming journey on the train with you into town. You can walk them round the yard in the dead of night on a leash like's good and proper but don't be letting them do their business on my yard.

Honestly though if I am on the train and some kid is running around like a nutter you know who I blame? The parents of course. If your child is a terror and can't be controlled don't release them on the general public! I'm actually all for children being allowed outside if they're well behaved... But they never are so a blanket ban is obvious.

It would be silly to ban children in town though. First of all there are many adults in town who on a regular basis act like children. There is however an alternative. There is a child free village in Scotland.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/10476754.stm

Perhaps I'll live there...

Wedding Dresses are Awesome!

So today I was meant to wear my wedding dress to work... but I didn't. Turns out I can't fit it any more.

I was meant to wear it for a radio competition that was celebrating brides and how they buy an awesome dress then only get to wear it once. What a mean (as not good) competition! I know there are plenty of other brides who've put on some happy fat since becoming married and thought
"That sounds awesome! I'll slip it on." and then went on to find they'd gained a bit more than thought.

To set the record straight I was close to, so close in fact I thought I could've got there if I'd had say a week more warning. But alas I didn't and so today, Brides Day, I am wearing my work uniform like the sad little shame I am.

But there are still people wearing their wedding dress with pride to day. I've seen one such person who had the pleasure of having only gotten married around three months ago.

Unfortunately it does happen though. You get married and you're happy so you gain weight. I think it's to prevent yourself from looking elsewhere which is why celebrities are always bed jumping. Apparently though according to my mother for women at least it's my(your) body preparing for babies. Well my body can piss off for a good 5 to 10 years thank you!

So it looks like I won't win the free trip to Hawaii but I'm still going to try and just send in a picture of me at home with the dress "on" and hope for the best. I leave you with a picture of what the dress does look like when on properly.

Quote Of The Week!

My quote of the week this week comes from me.

"I've stapled your pants to the ceiling, it's called modern art"

Yes that is actually how I feel about modern art and you know I'm right.

Now none of the following pictures actually have stapled pants but they could definitely be defined as art because you know anything can.



This one is just cause it's lol


I'm not too sure as to why I said the pants thing in the first place. But I do remember my husband's reaction:

"What's that from again?"
"Me. I just said it....."

Those "people"

Christa Miller As Ellie off Cougar town plays a very mean but lovable one of those people. She has found a way to balance her those "people" ways and therefore we can still be her friend. But everyone has one "friend" who is one of those "people". The kind of person who doesn't listen when you talk and tries to talk as much as they can about themselves. Whom you'll tell your best/worst secrets to and they will have forgotten everything by the next day. Those people are the thorn in my paw at the moment. I am unfortunate enough to be friends with two of them at the moment and it drives me mental. It is, though I must admit, rather funny because you see they are "friends" with each other. Neither of them remember anything the other says. They always forget when they're getting together. In a way it kind cancels each other out. But sometimes every now and again a tiny piece of information will slip through their me!me!me! filter and one will remember that they're meeting and consequently be stood up and then they'll have a battle of bullshit when they try to argue and get as much of the sound of their own voices into the "conversation".

So they are annoying to try and be friends with but very funny to turn against others of their kind. The only reason I'm still friends with these "people" is because they're secretly lovely, well sometimes...

It's Wednesday

Yay that means it's time for Advice Wednesday! We all know you don't want my advice but you'll sit there and smile and nod like you do.

Don't act like you know everything around me it makes me feel uncomfortable and you seem like a douche. Just a little bit. Tiny tiny little itty bitty bit. Okay a lot. And it bugs me. In fact it bugs everyone. Furthermore don't talk about sports to me, near me, at me or anywhere around me. It will get you one of two responses. The first being the most commonly used at a rate of 97.89% of the time is "DO NOT CARE". The second is a rare and new found response which has been brought on by recent events in the sporting world. This new response is of course "Drawing is not winning! We didn't win and we didn't lose. Therefore we did nothing!!"
I personally quite like this new response. It gives me the warm fuzzies =)

Don't Judge Me D=

Guilty pleasures are just that. They make you feel a little guilty but you enjoy it so you keep doing it.

Guilty Pleasures of the moment.


NEWish

Carry Out- Timbaland ft JT

This song is very dodge. But I keep coming back for more. I love the crass way the compare her body and sex with her to takeout food. Lines like "cause I'm seasoned if you couldn't tell" make me giggle.

Guilty because I shouldn't like drivel such as this.
Pleasure because it makes me happy in a weird way.


Oldy but a BESTY

Jared Leto's Hair

After many years at the top the mighty are falling. I swear I saw he had a pink mohawk. Mohawks are fine but not for Jared. I'm not saying he can't pull it off but *sniff*
This doesn't mean I don't still love him.

Guilty because I'm not 17 anymore
Pleasure because his hair was (and is still a little) so pretty

I'm Sick.

No really I am. and it SUCKS! i have this whole achey all over, blocked nose and headachey thing going on. Someone said "oh noes swine flu!" when I told them today. Boy are they gonna feel bad when it is (jj). But seriously i just coughed and my head is killing me =(

Things i learnt this week:

1) I hate it when people make you laugh when you're eating and you get rice stuck up your nose.

2)Balloons make me feel like (and act like) a little kid =)

3) Being sick on your days off is the worst thing in the world. Its so wasteful. I was supposed to have a driving lesson!!!


There should be a way to find out if someones blocked u on msn =(

argh now it hurts when I swallow =(

Whats that over there?

I propose a toast to almost 3 years later.

I got married.

I was thinking about how corrupt the world is and that is a surefire way to get a headache. But really you might think it's JUST in like politics or something but it's everywhere. At work at, with your friends mainly at work. Thinking about how unfair and corrupt the management system with mine is makes me mad.

bleh

Things i learnt this week

1) I hate my job

2) I deffinatly want to be a wedding planner

3) i have a whole bunch of arty frustration built up

Moronic Ramblings

Izak: Izak pwns.
Keir: Isaacs a lazy bum who cant be bothered to go a little bit left to find the o to say he owns, which he dont haha noob is an evil moronic word.
Izak: Keir's to lazy to add ' in any of her words, like "can't" and "don't".
Keir: Who really cares. atleastidontaddallmywordstogether, or spek lyk a noob.
Izak: 101, J00 |$ /\07 1337 1!|<3 /\/\3.
Keir: You're a LOON!
Izak: You're a noob.
Keir: And you point is?
Izak: Oh..Nothing, I was just informing you just in case you hadn't noticed already.
Keir: .........
Izak: *Relishes the Uncomfortable silence*
Keir: Siswa?
Izak: Since I found out I was pregnant.
Keir: BOOYA! WHO's the MAMA?
Izak: Arnold Swarts...cough. Like the perfume?
Keir: Uuuuuuhhhmmmmmm.... Amyway.. New subject.
Izak: ...... You're Silly.
Keir: How do ya figuuure?
Izak: Well, you see, by using my keen anilitical brain power and understanding I have formerly deduced that you are quote unquote "Silly" because you yourself(You as in Keir(Human(Being))) are "Silly" because you have been saying words in a funny and often confuzzling manner.
Keir: Blah blah blah, when do i get my free donut?
Izak: Why right now *Hands Keir freshly holed donut and gets back to work grumpily*

THE END ALL OF THIS HAD NO REAL PURPOSE I WAS JUST BORED.

Im Baaaaack!

Wow twice in one week. i must love you guys so much.. actualy i didnt want them to cancel my email address AGAIN. alright straight down to business.

Things Ive Learnt in the Past Two Days.

1. Polar bears are white. i know! weird.

2. If you say pickle over and over for long enough and fast enough it sounds like cup.

3. Dw: in txt lingo is dont worry and

4. Nm: not much!

5. i am the newly crowned Queen of socks lol nl ml dont ask coooooz i wont tell you ha ha!

So yes i learn great stuff each day. now i have decided to add a new section it's called: random facts about me. because of my May 24th entry in which said im mysterious.
ok so 3 facts this time.

1 my favourite cartoon is 'fosters home for imaginary friends' which can be found on cartoon network. my fav character is cheese lol.

2 the thing i have loved the longest in the entire world is my cat, pixie. shes black and white and is 9 and a half, iv had her for 9 years.

3 when i was 6 or 7 or something around there my foot (mainly my toes) were slammed in a car door, nothing was broken but it really realy hurt. i have neva broken any bone in my body.

now about the story i was tellin. i would keep goin but i got bored with it lol.

NEW STORY

this is a short story i wrote two years ago

Jacob sat on the couch with a packet of potato chips in one hand and the phone in the other. His fat belly wobbling as he yelled down the phone.
"You, boy,are getting on my nerves. There is no way you'll get caught! Security in this place is crap, the lady who owns the place is positively ditsy. So stop your blubbering." Nothing except a wimper came from the other end of the phone as Daniel hung up.

All in black, Daniel crept along the roof of J&L Jewellry store. Daniel halted suddenly as a phone rang from somewhere within the store, a female voice answered but Daniel couldn't quite make out what was being said.

"Yes Mum, I'm closing up now. I'll be home in half an hour, bye. Love ya too." Rebecca waddled across the shop to the back room muttering.
"That woman... why must she live with me.. must kick out." She colected her bag and saw the crossword puzzle she had neglected earlier.
"Just five minutes," she mutters to herself and sat down to finish it.

Nervously, Daniel checked his watch. Daniel jumped four feet when his phone vibrated against his leg.
"Hello," whispered Daniel hoarsely into the phone.
"It's time. Beep beep beep," said Jacob who had been watching for Rebecca's car. Daniel went to the stairs that led off the roof and down to the back room. He picked the lock on the door in ten seconds, and crept down the stairs.

"Hmm another word for abduct would be.... AHHHHHHHH!" Rebecca let out a piercing scream as Daniel put a rag over her mouth and tied her up with his shoe laces.

"And in recent news a local jewellery company, J&L Jewellery, was robbed late last night. A masked man took close one million dollars in jewellery. The owner, Rebecca J Locknet, was tied up in the back room for close to two hours." Said the news presenter in a monotinous tone.
"Hahahaha!" Jacob's belly wobbling as he laughed like a maniac.

THE END

mmmmm i liked that one. ok im getting typers cramp now so lataz all, i probly wont b bak till afta d hols kk.

PS: Just a litlle question? why must people insist on using my middle name ALL the time? if you're doin it to annoy me, its working, so stop it. just so you know the nxt person who calls me by my full name will recieve a kick in the pants! grr!

Hello.

Hello all of my imaginary readers *tilts head side ways to smile* =) I shall be partaking in the ritual of a learners license test some time in the coming weeks Which shall be super fun. *sits fiddling with braclets for 10 min not knowing what to say* ive been coming up with a new story the old one is no longer. This one should be pretty good, i dont know if ill put it on here though, its guna be a horror/thriller so yeah. Chipmunks (where i work) has been for sale for some time now and its never going to sell because its a hole lol. This is weird usualy im bursting with junk to say but all i can think about are songs. oh well time for a classic:

WHAT I LEARNT THIS WEEK:
well actualy since a last posted but its all the same.

1. hate is a strong word.

2. being sick sucks (thats a leason iv learnt several times over) and

3. swimming is dangerous.

well ill be back next week maybe, hopefully with more to say.

Lataz all xo.

im such a silly.

grrr! i had written pages about wat i was gunna put on ma blog bt i LEFT IT AT HOME!!!! grrr o well till next week then aye.

FACTOIDS I LEARNT THIS PAST WEEK:

1 mumsdollar arnt all that.

2 cats have weird toe-like-things.

3 in 1985 the movie 'the colour purple' didnt win any oscars despite having 11 nominations.

4 you can figure out ur exact location on earth by using shadows. and

5 the likely hood of me forgeting everything i was supposed to remember is very high.

So any weird happenings in the life of 'apple morgan' this week? well nothing weird but something cool as came to light.

anyway lataz ma radishs

PS mean beast oi.

Radishical Rad.

omg 2 in one day wat is the world coming to. death and destruction dats wat. and just so the beloved fans of mine know: prior to common mis conception i will be back next week sum time so you can tune in weekly isnt dat funkylicious. wats the world cuming to wen sum one cant wear slippers everywher and not get stared at. and wat may i ask is so rong with wandering around count down at 1am folowed by ur friends hu happen to look lyk vampires whilst ur dressed to the nines, i mean so wat u dnt have to stare lyk we'r weird or anything lol. i mean at least i wasnt wearin sumant ludicris lyk dat up there! now that wud have been cause to stare. urg i have to itchy bits on my neck bt they look lyk a vampire bite lol

oh well.

wat i learnd in the past month.

1 ... uhm ok so i learnt nufing so sue me

2 wait i thought of sumthing: the slide at chipmunks is very old and smells like cabbage on the inside.

3 most of the male species is dummer than me.

4 if u jump out of a moving vehicle u r most likely going to get hurt.

5 and there is only one thing you can count on in life, and that is that ul b embarresed by parents on a daily basis. urg.


anyway thats it for today
lataz radishs xo

supage noobz

so iv left u all alone wiv owt me 4 ages dnt u all feel soooooo neglected. lol u dnt even toss radishs. so im guna stab jeremy in th jaw coz i cant stop saying mean beast oi! grrrrrr! so dis piggy is cute hardcore and i wanted to share its cuteness wiv u all. tada.