Saturday, June 04, 2011
Angels Brought Me Pens
Day 155
Today I did almost as much nothing as possible. I did how ever draw you a picture of a kitty. Isn't it cute! This picture would be ten times more fantastic but I'm waiting for a pen. A magical pen. To be delivered by an angel with blue hair, wearing golden pants and shrouded in petunias. Or delivered by Becky.
Becky to me "You should draw in pen"
Me to Becky "Get me a pen" at the same time Becky to me "I'll get you a pen"
I'm waiting angel shrouded in petunias.
Friday, June 03, 2011
Ghost Phone
Day 154
Today I won the smart dance and lost my phone in town. Now it's haunting me. I keep hearing my text tone and being like "Hmmm was that a text? I'll just check my WAIT A MINUTE!"
Bad news aside today I earned the achievement in the game of life that is "The Fixer" I feel proud. It wasn't too hard. You just have to rely on peoples desire to keep friends. If the people you're fixing lack this then you're screwed.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Marilyn Mantis
Day 153
Today I had a staff meeting. Apparently a new brand is coming out with in our company. The shirts will be magenta. This caused many lols. After the meeting i went to Grace's with the intention of helping her pack but there wasn't really anything to do and we ended up finishing the bottle of coconut rum and laughing at business cat. Then whilst trekking half way across town to Neshas I gave a homeless man a show when the wind decided I needed to do a bad impression of Marilyn Monroe. I was going to draw this but I decided this picture of a praying mantis doing a Monroe impression was much better.
Also oops forgot it was request Thursday... my bad. It will be back next Thursday. Promise!
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
We Used To Be Friends
Day 152
Today I was sitting at my doodle desk pondering what to doodle. So far today I had taken Matt shopping quite successfully but nothing really doodle worthy had happened. Though in saying that half of the things I doodle are not worthy. I had no idea what to doodle and Matt suggested I wait to see what happens. Approximately 5 hours later I was in McDonald's watching Becky do an impersonation of Lissy singing the theme song to Veronica Mars. Admittedly half an hour before that when Becky exclaimed that Jordan had beautiful eyes was probably funnier but that's a different story..
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Eye See What You Did There
Monday, May 30, 2011
I SsssssSSsssee You!
Day 150
Today was my day off. I had many things I needed to do. Buy party supplies. Check. Do some washing. Errr.. Watch TV to clear backlog. Ahhh.. Minecraft in Jammies. Check =D
For close to five hours I played minecraft in that time I had the crap scared out of me about 4 times. Once was the phone ringing extremely loudly. Apparently Izak and Matt don't appreciate their movie watching being punctuated by my exclamations of "Spiders in the trees!" or "Piss off creepers!" or "What the hell is with the grass" and about 20 cries of "CRAP!" Izak calls it talking to myself where as I call it yelling at the game.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
BLATBOB
Day 149
Today I was defeated by a sandwich. Three quarters of the way in I couldn't keep going. The sandwich had won. BUT I took the bacon from the last quarter and thus won a battle but not the war. Sweet bacony battle.
Sometimes it physically hurts how stupid people are. Today I was asked if Malaysia was part of Australia... What do you say to that. Well I said no. But still whaaaaaaaaa?
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Mmm Smells Like Green
Day 148
Today the lady at the salad place tried to convince me that they hadn't changed the salad I like they had just put the fact that there was anchovies in the dressing on the sign. LIES I tell you. It was disgusting fish paste with some lettuce in it. BUT she was really nice and gave a refund straight away.
On another note I need some way of remembering things cause my memory files appear to be full. I keep double booking myself and Grace always seems to come out worse off. But hey she got to watch me drink crazyness out of a bowl, in her kitchen whilst sporting a green Hitler mustache. I think I should be forgiven.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Panda-monium
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Paging Dr Panda
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Truly Special
Day 145
Today I am yet again a champion. This time I am the champion of Gin. I was told that if one drink Gin and only Gin (instead of the rainbow flurry of drinks I usually do) then I would with out a doubt cry. 'Challenge accepted' I cried!(pun intended) And last night I got a rather spinning buzz off some Gin. Not a single tear. Not even the beginnings of any. I was more upset earlier that day when six people were talking at once. BUT that is only half of the victory. Two people drank as much as I did (if not a little more than me) and both of those people ended up throwing up. Stellar sound effects all night let me tell you. There is nothing quite like cleaning up some one else's puke at 5am to make you really appreciate how awesome not puking or feeling sick really is. So at 8am when my alarm went off for me to get up go to work I felt fantastic. I am actually not exaggerating. I felt better in that moment than after a nice 10 hours of sleep. Champion of Gin title or no I do not want Gin again very soon as it's not very nice... Maybe now I can conquer Vodka in a new way.
just in a post script kind of way OMFG WHY YOU BASTARD EYELIDS STOP ITCHING!!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Now is not the Time for Chats
Monday, May 23, 2011
Panda!
Day 143
Today is the day that I randomly projected that I would make a panda out of clay for. Izak how ever doubted I would still be doing doodles. Well here I am. Where is my prize?
(The link for Izak is a doodle he did that was inspired by me cause I'm awesome)
I convinced Izak into having his picture taken with the panda because I am a master of mind control!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Always the Champion
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Tiny Humans
Day 141
Today I had an interesting conversation with a customer and her child.
I'm talking through the speaker.
Kid: How come I can hear you?
Me: The speaker
(at the same time as me) Mum: Magic
Me: .. or magic =/
Kid: Can you say money?
Me: Magic.
Kid: Noooo. Can you say slion.
Me: What is a slion?
Kid: Its a type of lion.
The tiny humans.. They confuse me =S
The Bi-corn is a mythical creature. Not to be confused with a goat. Its a member of the unicorn family. Not much is known at this point. But it walks on to feet so it must be awesome.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I Know a Guy With a Goat
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Cows are Gossips and Gossips are Cows
Day 139
Request Thursday! This weeks request comes from Abbey! She simply asked for Cow. I pondered the possibility of drawing someone I know thats a bit of a cow but I decided better of it.
If you have a request just comment on any request Thursday blog or if you're a friend message me on Face Book. I select one randomly every Thursday.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
"Vodka"
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Thats How You Pat a Cheetah
Day 137
Today was awesome. I got to pat a cheetah. They're so pretty ♥.♥ *squeeee* but girly squees asides, they're the biggest fraidy cats. We got to follow them around the zoo for their morning walk. They were afraid of the lions. One of them was afraid of/threatened by a pig which was hilarious. And they both enjoyed having a staring contest with the nervous zebras.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Twenty One Times
Day 136
Today is Bex's birthday. Her actual birthday. It was decided many moons ago that for Bex's Bday we would ride NZs only roller coaster 21 times. Word of advice. Don't. Especially when you're still semi hung over. I would how ever like to applaud myself on my stellar ability to not puke. Truly a talent I'm grateful for.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Figure Of Speech
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Every Day I'm Shuffling
Day 134
Today I started work at 7.45am. With town on the horizon and a nice dinner for Bexs birthday you can imagine how slow time is going for me. Its 2.23pm and it feels like I've been at work for days. All I want is it to be 4.15pm so I can finish work and go home to where all my booze is. Yes I need booze. I run on booze and am running low therefore time is slowing down.
Aaaaaaaaaanyway! It has gotten to the point where I start to struggle half way through a 6" sub from subway. Consequently I have a quarter of 6" ham sub in my bag. My stomach is currently screaming "OMG I am so full! I hate you!" But don't worry my stomach always hates me. If its not "I'm full" its "I'm empty" or "Why are you feeding me?!" and sometimes "I'm vindictive and spiteful" *STAB STAB STAB* You don't even want to know what it screams when it teams up with my uterus *gives reader knowing look*
Labels:
Bex,
Booze,
Painful Insides,
Please don't stab me,
stomach pains
Friday, May 13, 2011
Oi! Stop It!
Day 133
Rude! You there customer face. I do not care if your thinking face requires noms that doesn't mean you can noms the pen I have to use for the rest of the day.
Aaaaaanyway! My eyelids have been itchy for the past 5-7 days. I have no idea why. The internet says that it goes hand in hand with puffy or swollen eyes but my eyes aren't puffy or swollen. They're still tired looking though apparently. THIS IS JUST MY FACE. The problem with itchy eyelids is when I scratch them I get tiny scratches on them. Then the scratches become itchier. Its a vicious cycle I tell you. The scratches are almost gone but they're still soooooo itchy!!!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Lols Optional
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Hooligans!
Monday, May 09, 2011
Lets Get Crunk
Sunday, May 08, 2011
Gnomey
Saturday, May 07, 2011
Swirling Through Life
Friday, May 06, 2011
Alas
Day 126
Lately a lot of people have commented on how tired I look. This is just my face. I look like this all the time. Granted I haven't been sleeping what one would say well but that is of little importance. What am I meant to say "Thank you"? No. "Yes"? I've decided to go with:
"Alas you've uncovered my terrible secret..."
"What secret?"
"I'm tired of people"
"Oh"
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Am Sexy!
Day 125
Sitting in BK today with grace. She's eating her burger and I'm eating sushi. Right when I have the biggest mouthful of rice she does this (pictured above). I think I'll have rice coming out of my nose for the next week.
Yesterdays doodle was the last Dirty Search I'll let you know the results in a month or so.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
You Make Me Sad
Day 124
Last week we had had a praying mantis wondering around our ceilings. Then all of sudden there was something on my foot. A long dead, squished praying mantis was stuck between my toes. I was horrified by this. After I had ripped him off my toes I scooped him up on a receipt. He lay there with his bottom half squished and wings mutilated but his top half looked like it was dancing. So sad...
Todays picture is named "racy camouflage necktie"
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
What do You Know?
Monday, May 02, 2011
I Have a Point?
Day 122
I think my LOL Reactor might be broken. A guy slipped outside the store I was at today, he flailed his arms around and stopped himself from falling over. The girl in the store was giggling silently behind her hand but I was unmoved. Perhaps I have grown up. All I was thinking was about the danger of the slippery front ramp and how they should put down some cardboard like they usually do. Though now that I think about it maybe I just have a more sophisticated comedy palate than that of the giggling store girl. I'm not sure about that. I laugh at the most mundane things and at the lamest jokes.. Some times just a word can set me off. And not even a very funny word. Like stethoscope or mundane. I will admit though it's usually words like duty, come or poke.
There was a building inspector guy who had a very murdery look about him checking the building today. I find it interesting that some people have a murdery look when I know that I only judge them as so because of stereotypes portrayed on TV. Now I'm sure they're stereotypes for a reason but still... this bothers me.
Todays picture is called 'mundane orgasm'
Sunday, May 01, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Poker All Night
Day 119
Today we had poker. An abundance of hilarious things happened. Not that I remember any of them. I do remember how ever that I won the first ever cash game. There will be people who tell you lies about how my chances of getting the money were higher than every one elses but these people are just sore losers.
Todays picture is named 'itchy nipples'
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Not So Smug Now
Day 118
Now you're in garfeild.
A fully grown man had semi tantrum at me when I told him that the name on his western union was wrong. I had my serious face on when I said no. But inside I was laughing at his ridiculous whining.
I found out that if I name the pictures I upload in my blogs something other than the day then they will show up in searches. So for the next week including this post I'm going to name all my pictures "sweaty balls" and other undesirable names (which I will tell you) and see how many searches I get.
Labels:
Catface,
Dirty Searches,
izaku,
Smug,
Tantrums,
Vanilla Fiction
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
All Tuckered Out
Day 117
This morning when I finally got myself out of bed this is what was lying in wait for me on the other side of the bedroom door. Waiting impatiently for her breakfast, Sparta was employing a common technique amongst children known as goose guarding. The only problem with her plan being I'm bigger than her and needed to pee.
So today for the first time in my life (that I can remember) some one referred to me as "tall". It was amazing. The situation not so much. Although the reason being she was comparing me to prepubescent teens and tiny Indian woman. I'm still going to take it.
Today a customer I had had a name that made want to make lame jokes. I tried very hard to stop my self. I succeeded. I feel proud. Manish. Heh. Your name is LOL. Yes I am immature..
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
BUGGY NOOOO!
Day 116
We all remember buggy from the fancy new doodle book entry.
I've been waiting for a while to do this to buggy. A whole month exactly. Poor buggy. You're actually kinda gross. But you make for an easy doodle so I forgives you.
Many things have come to my attention.
1] People have noticed how my stomach hates me. I am going to the doctors tomorrow so you can look forward to Doctor Hilarity.
2] My one post from way back in the day about Those people that mentions Christa Miller is getting quite a bit of views lately. Ethier Cougar Town is becoming more popular [which is awesome] or some random had found it and is showing their friends and pointing and laughing at my blogging skills. You there! I see you! Stop that! I have good doodles. Look at this one or this one. Now shoosh your boosh.
3] No one from Canada has ever looked at my blog.. Damn you Canadians! Appreciate my genius! I appreciate your... your... BASKETBALL! From a distance.. A very far distance but it still counts.
Labels:
Basketball,
bug,
Canada,
Cougar Town,
Doctor LOL
Monday, April 25, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Keyhole
Day 114
At around 3am Tish decided to tell me a scary story. I did not appreciate his efforts.
A man went to a hotel and walked up to the front desk to check in. The woman at the desk gave him his key and told him that on the way to his room, there was a door with no number that was locked and no one was allowed in there. Especially no one should look inside the room, under any circumstances. So he followed the instructions of the woman at the front desk, going straight to his room, and going to bed.
The next night his curiosity would not leave him alone about the room with no number on the door. He walked down the hall to the door and tried the handle. Sure enough it was locked. He bent down and looked through the wide keyhole. Cold air passed through it, chilling his eye. What he saw was a hotel bedroom, like his, and in the corner was a woman whose skin was completely white. She was leaning her head against the wall, facing away from the door. He stared in confusion for a while. He almost knocked on the door, out of curiosity, but decided not to.
He crept away from the door and walked back to his room. The next day, he returned to the door and looked through the keyhole. This time, all he saw was red. He couldn’t make anything out besides a distinct red color. Perhaps the inhabitants of the room knew he was spying the night before, and had blocked the keyhole with something red.
At this point he decided to consult the woman at the front desk for more information. She sighed and said, “Did you look through the keyhole?” The man told her that he had and she said, “Well, I might as well tell you the story. A long time ago, a man murdered his wife in that room, and her ghost haunts it. But these people were not ordinary. They were white all over, except for their eyes, which were red.”
Tish told it differently but it still gave me a chill down my spine. Silly Tish shouldn't tell stories.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Super Raccoon is Super Cute
Day 113
A proper doodle montage.
Today I saw:
*A well dressed "homeless" man with a sign that said "Please help. Need money for weed and beer"
* Harry Potter 7a and it was much better than expected and I'm looking forward to the next one.
* Bexibubblicous
*A man almost get hit by a car and then act super casual about it. Like it happens all the time. Though his road crossing skills would imply that it does in fact happen all the time.
*Many kinds of funny face book updates.
*And this picture of a super raccoon biting a man ear
Labels:
Beer,
cuteness,
Doodle Montage,
Harry Potter,
Honesty,
Weed
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sushi?
Day 112
Today I finally got to play D n D again. This is my character Sushi.. She's oddly proportioned and has short white hair. She's very quiet but a kick ass fighter elf. She's nothing like any elf you've seen before. Mu wah ha ha. Don't ask her any questions so you don't have to deal with the awkward silence to follow.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
What Do You Think I Chose
Day 111
Today was not the best. My bladder was leading the assault today and decided it had forgotten it is actually bigger than a peanut. Asides from my bodies obvious loathing for itself. When I got home I was meant to upload all the doodles I was behind on.. But I played mine craft instead. Valid choice I think.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Rat Blob
Day 110
Today I went to Grace's again. I also saw Manny and Bernard again. Her rats. They're so cute. But they're also stinky boys. For some reason though they smelt like hokey pokey to me. I went looking for cute rat pics and found a whole bunch of rats with instruments pics. You should check em out for your daily squee!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Am I Invisible?
Day 109
Even though my everything aches like I was hit by a truck since GC I still went to Lou's apartment building and made good use of her pool and gym. She was there too. I'm not that awesome.
Also the scene in the pic didn't happen. It could have. But it didn't mainly because I told Grace what I'd drawn and her response was "Oh gawd go home now"
Monday, April 18, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)